For most ex-Christians, the difficulty of reconciling with their former partners is a daunting task. When I was in the process of reconciliation, I had a difficult time reconciling with my ex-Christian partner. This is not uncommon, as the majority of ex-Christians go through this same problem. The truth is that our current approach to sex and dating are so out of synch with how things were in the past. The desire for intimacy has been replaced by the need to reproduce and meet the needs of the sexual marketplace.
This modern day approach has brought many ex-Christian dating pitfalls. By no means are these problems exclusive to ex-Christians, but as a whole, the majority of ex-Christian relationships fall into these traps. Sadly, many of the mistakes we make in relating with our ex-Christian partner, are the same mistakes we make in relating to other members of our community.
If you’re an ex-Christian, or are thinking about reconciling with your ex, there are a number of important questions you should be asking yourself. Firstly, if you have been in a previous relationship, try not to rush the timing of getting back together with your ex. It’s best to take some time out before taking another relationship into the picture. Yes, we all have needs and desires and in the modern day, this translates to finding new sexual partners. However, take some time to enjoy being single again before trying to contact your ex.
A common mistake many ex-Christians make when trying to contact their ex is the way in which they approach the subject of a new relationship. Many in the ex-Christian dating community approach it from a selfish point of view and only think about themselves at the expense of the new partner. The importance of having a positive outlook, and not being selfish, come into play here. You can’t let yourself be run over by the ex-Christian world and its quick fix solution to relationships.
So what should you do if you’re thinking about starting a new relationship? If you’ve come to the realization that you can’t keep up the whole “get my ex back” jibes, but you still love your ex-Christian boyfriend, then take some time to consider what you really want in terms of a new relationship. Don’t get wrapped around a particular person, as this will only hurt you in the long-run. You need to be willing to move on from the old relationship, and get focused on finding someone new.
If you have decided to try and get your ex-Christian boyfriend back, then it’s probably sensible for you to keep tabs on his movements. This isn’t just about spying on him, but about keeping in mind any changes he might make in his life. Does he seem happier lately? If you’ve met a new person who seems to have taken an interest in you and your ex, don’t jump the gun too quickly in contacting them. Take your time getting to know them first, and see if they’re the right person for you and your ex-Christian boyfriend. You should always talk things over with your ex first.
A great place to start is by keeping an eye on his telephone patterns. Has he changed his phone habits at all? If you two have met online or met up when you were out socializing, then make note of any new numbers that he has been calling or leaving messages on. When you think that your ex-Christian boyfriend has developed an interest in you again, you can start talking to him again.
One important thing to remember when trying to get back with your ex-Christian boyfriend is that it’s crucial not to pester him. Don’t call him, text him or even send him emails. Let him have the freedom to do what he wants, and don’t force things until he says so. Forcing a man to say that he loves you or to commit to a new relationship just won’t work; instead, enjoy the fact that he’s opening up to you again.